Why do you choose to be mean instead of supporting fellow writers?
I’ve been a writer on the internet for a long time, so I’ve developed a pretty thick skin.
If you ever want to test your mental resiliency in the face of unfair criticism, try a stint as a journalist.
Typically I get wonderful feedback on stuff I put out into the world.
The comments I’ve gotten on stories about my descent into and escape from alcohol addiction, for example, have been downright humbling.
Several people told me they had tears in their eyes after reading this recent piece I published about the 4 most common things people say before they die.
Some of the stuff I write can be fluffier, sure, but sometimes I just write something because I think it would prompt a fun discussion.
And contrary to popular belief, writing can just be fun sometimes.
Yeah, I’m typically pretty chill about excessive negativity, but every now and again, my armor gets worn down and I get discouraged about the whole “writing online” thing.
This week is one of those times.
‘Everything that’s wrong with the internet’
To be honest, I didn’t see it coming.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been called intellectually lazy, distasteful, stupid, and “everything that’s wrong with the internet.”
My crime?
Writing a silly, light take on a Huffington Post article arguing Millennials are aging better than Boomers and Gen Z.
Somehow this story turned into a hit, and lots of people shared their own anecdotes about their generations’ experiences with aging.
But more than a few people (maybe angry Boomers?) piped up to tell me what a f***ing idiot I was and how much my writing sucks.
Did they have the right to do so if they genuinely thought that my writing was “everything that’s wrong with the internet?”
I guess.
Should they have?
I don’t think so.
Let me tell you why.
You are making writers quit, and that’s a tragedy
As I said, I’ve been a professional writer and I’ve developed a thick skin.
Someone calling me stupid on the internet won’t cause me to quit writing.
But it might cause someone else to quit, and I think that’s a tragedy.
Maybe it’s a new writer who’s trying to get better.
Maybe it’s a writer whose first language might not be English.
Maybe it’s an inexperienced writer who’s taking a risk and trying something new.
I mean, the aging generations story wasn’t even my take — it was a story about someone else’s take.
And yet it so enraged people that they took priceless time out of their finite lives to tell me I suck.
And for what?
To feel smart? To feel big?
To … compensate for something?
It’s so unnecessary.
There’s a better way
If someone is writing something racist or otherwise bigoted, if someone is being needlessly ruthless and mean, have at ’em.
But if someone writes something that you simply didn’t enjoy, I have a suggestion for you: Close the article and read something else.
That’s it.
I’ve written almost 500 articles here, some of which I’m extremely proud of and a handful of which probably didn’t represent my best work.
But that’s part of the writers’ journey.
Every article doesn’t need to be award-worthy.
If it were, there would be more tumbleweeds around there than amateur scribes.
I just wish more people would simply *close* articles they don’t like and find one they do, rather than berating writers for literally no reason.
This is why so many people are afraid to try writing, or why they don’t stick with it.
They won’t look at the 20 comments saying “Fun take!” or “This was my experience!”
They’ll look at the 1 that says “This is disgusting, you are everything that’s wrong with the internet.”
There’s a better way.
Try this instead
The next time you read something and you feel your ego starting to rev up, just take a deep breath and close the article.
Maybe go look in the mirror and ask what you’re really mad about in your life.
People who are genuinely satisfied with their own lives just don’t rip people on the internet.
The writer you’re about to tear a strip off of is a real person, with a real family and real feelings.
They’ve taken a risk to put their work out into the world, and that takes a great deal of courage.
So instead of barfing out a mean comment, go find something else to read — something you may really love.
And then take the time to leave a comment telling that person you really enjoyed their work.
Writing is a hard enough gig already.
How about we support each other instead of tearing each other down?
Do you agree with me or do you think I’m being oversensitive?
Have you experienced toxic feedback yourself? How did you deal with it? Did it make you want to quit?
Let me know in the comments!
Looking for something else to read?
My top 5 trending stories today