Why the first 3 hours of your day hold the actual secret to your happiness

Jul 30, 2023

I’m absolutely miserable today.

I’m in such a bad mood. I feel tired. I’m discouraged. I’m disappointed in myself. I feel like I have so much that needs to get done and my efforts are never enough to bridge that gap.

And yet, I know why I feel like this.

I blew it this morning.*

I’ve found that the first three hours of my day hold the secret to my entire happiness.

Let me explain why.

Reserve the first 3 hours of the day for YOU

I have a lot on my plate, and I’m sure you do too.

I’m a father of two active boys, I’m a husband, I’m a hockey coach, I work a full-time job, and I run a side business that requires constant attention.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something.

Lately, more than ever, it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

(*whispers*) But there are.

When I’m feeling this way, just completely down and frazzled, I know that I’ve structured my hours poorly and I’m paying the price.

Trust me when I say this: if you can carve out 2–3 hours for yourself at the start of the day, it will change your life.

That’s because, when you take that time to do the things that are most important to you, you can tackle the rest of your day in a relaxed manner and allow it to flow (rather than fighting against it).

Take it from me: if you don’t find the time to do what you WANT to do, you’ll inevitably resent what you HAVE to do.

What would you do if you had three hours before work where nobody was harassing you for something? Nobody was distracting you or asking you for something?

What if you could calm your mind and accomplish something before doing the stuff you don’t necessarily want to do? How much better would you feel?

What you do with your morning hours will vary for everyone.

Perhaps it’s a nice walk outside in the early sunshine while you listen to a podcast that’s important to you.

Maybe it’s a stop at the gym for a workout that will leave you feeling healthy, energized, and proud of yourself.

Maybe it’s getting your kids’ lunches done and bags organized before they wake up and it’s total chaos getting them out the door.

For me, it’s doing my morning pages, it’s writing, and it’s working on my side business.

You feel like you can’t enjoy your life because you don’t have time.

But what if you did?

What if you took time at the start of the day to do what YOU want to do? A person sitting on a bench in the early morning sunshine. — What if you took time at the start of the day to do what YOU want to do? (Credit: James Julian/Dall-E 2)

How to not resent your obligations

I really believe this is why so many people are so miserable.

By not getting the things that are important to us out of the way early or taking the time to plan our day with intention, we feel like we’re playing catch-up and multitasking all the time.

Multitasking, by the way, is complete hell.

That adds to your stress and negativity, and you wind up being miserable until you can mercifully drop into your bed at night.

But if you take time JUST for yourself at the start of the day, I promise you’ll hate your obligations less.

Example: I actually don’t mind my 9-to-5 job at all. The work is fine, the pay it great, and it doesn’t require anything of me outside those set hours.

But if I don’t get my own personal writing and business development out of the way first thing in the morning, I wind up HATING my job.

“God, why do I have to do this? If I didn’t have to work, I’d be able to do what I really care about. I could make so much more money if I just had more time. This is so annoying.”

Perhaps you wind up being impatient with your kids because they need things from you while you’re trying to do something else (not their fault at all, by the way).

Honestly, these are all excuses.

I didn’t get up early enough, and when I did get up I didn’t use my time wisely.

So now, instead of being proud of the writing I did early in the morning, tackling my work day with flow and confidence, and going to the gym at lunch to boost my energy and mood even more, I’m pounding out this post with what little free time I have today.

Lord knows I won’t have time to do it tonight with the way my Google calendar looks.

Start fresh tomorrow

So writing this article now is a reminder to myself about what it takes to feel happy, productive, and optimistic throughout the entire day.

And it’s a piece of advice to anyone else who might be feeling sluggish and negative today: own the first three hours of your day, and the rest of your waking hours will be a treat.

*This post was originally published in my Medium publication in March 2023.

The latest from me

My most-read posts

Get an email every time I publish on Medium so you don’t miss a story!